Eternal Kingdom Conflict Resolution Process
This formal conflict resolution process is intended for those rare cases when two community members are unable to resolve an issue between them. At the end of the day, this is a game, we are all here to have fun, and effective conflict resolution helps ensure that all involved parties can do so. If you find yourself in conflict with other players in the community, you may use these steps to achieve a resolution:
- Reflect on the conflict. Why are you upset? Why is the other person/people involved upset? Try see things from others’ perspective as well as your own. Happiness is a choice/state of mind, and sometimes the best thing to do is just let it go. This isn’t always the best option, so in these cases, know what you want to see happen as a resolution, and why. Be mentally prepared to compromise or accept alternate proposals.
- Talk it out. We recommend a private voice conversation in Discord. Again, try to appreciate the other points of view. This is by far the most important and most often skipped step. People in general are reasonable, and you may be surprised at how universal some experiences are. Often, just having a conversation about the issue can bring a swift end to the conflict.
- Get help. Bring in a guild-sponsored mediator. When the conversation is not constructive, a neutral third party may be helpful in making sure both parties hear one another.
- Get leadership involved. Go to your team lead or designated representative with your issue. If you’re a social or other rank, talk to your Royal Emissary to find the appropriate person to discuss it with. Put some thought into the most appropriate person to talk to. If your team lead or RE is unable to resolve the conflict, it may then be escalated to the appropriate chancellor, and if still not resolved, the GMs. At each stage, leadership will likely offer a resolution and the reasoning behind that resolution. Remember to be willing to compromise. You may not get exactly what you want to see as a resolution, for any number of reasons. Rarely will a conflict make it all the way to the GMs, but in the event that it does, it is the final stop. If you are unable to accept any of the proposed resolutions, you need to decide whether it’s time to move on from the conflict, or move on from the community. However, it is extremely rare for any conflict between members to be escalated so far.
Public forums of any kind are not appropriate for the Conflict Resolution process. Intentionally inciting anger and drama within the guild is an unacceptable behaviour. Our community values effective and appropriate communication. If you truly feel that you cannot abide by these processes, this is probably not a good home for you.
Conflict Resolution Tips
- Stay calm. Remove yourself from the situation for a few minutes if necessary. Especially in situations where one or more parties are angry of frustrated, stepping back for a moment to collect your thoughts can prevent you from saying or doing something you regret.
- Avoid being passive aggressive. Deal with conflict directly rather than vague posting in public channels.
- Stay on topic. This is not a time to throw personal insults or bring up petty annoyances. It can often be tempting to do these things, especially when your argument is weak. If you are finding yourself doing these things, you may need to remove yourself from the situation and think it over again.
- Approach others with respect. Remember that everyone sees themselves as in the right. Try to phrase things in a way that gets your point across clearly, without attacking anyone on a personal level.
- Don’t get defensive. No one will think less of you for being wrong from time to time. It’s important to learn to accept criticism with grace. It’s natural to feel defensive during any kind of conflict, but it’s important to recognize that feeling when it happens, and handle it appropriately. This video deals with how to recognize and manage your own defensiveness, and is worth watching even if you are not currently in conflict with anyone.
- Keep it contained. Talking and venting to a few close and trusted friends is okay, but don’t give details to everyone you meet. Gossiping about every issue you have with every player can lead to a lot of toxicity and hurt feelings.
- Seek out other resources. This guide is certainly not the definitive way to handle conflict! People are unique and different conflicts may require different tactics. Just remember to handle things in a way that is respectful and leads to the best outcome for everyone involved.
The guidelines we have outlined here are meant to ensure that as many people as possible are having fun in a comfortable and non-toxic atmosphere. When conflict happens it needs to be dealt with in a mature and respectful way. Think of your community and how to make it better when dealing with conflict.